Balance, Opportunity, Surrender and Power

Today is the Spring Equinox.  It is a powerful day to focus on balance, as the light of day and dark of night are balanced.  Balance is much needed in our world right now.  Take a deep breath.  Release.  Take another deep breath and repeat out loud or in your heart, “My body, mind and heart are balanced.”  Do this until you feel some calm throughout your body.  The balance of light and dark brings a calm.  It is the center point.  It is the middle path.  If you sway too far to one side or the other, the opposite will swing you back like a pendulum to the other side until you can, with your awareness, bring your body, mind and heart back into balance.

I have not written on this blog for over a year, not because things have not been happening, but because I did not feel inspired to write.  I need inspiration to share.  This worldwide connection, or as some call “pandemic” has inspired me once again.  I personally feel a bubbling excitement and optimism, despite the fear and panic that is in the air (and yes, as an empath, I feel that too).

I see what is going on in the world right now as a huge opportunity and I feel very optimistic about what the outcomes will be, but it will take all of us to utilize the opportunity to change.

First let’s look at just some of the opportunities we can take from this:

  1. We are all connected. We are not separate from each other.  We are interconnected in such a way on the earth that if one country has an epidemic, it can quickly become a global pandemic.  Trade/supply chains are affected.  Travel is affected.  With our advances in technology, information sharing, education, etc. there is no way we can go back to each country “standing on its own”.  Closing borders is not going to change the fact that we are one body and one community, belonging to Mother Earth.  We are all the same and we all have the same untapped abilities, despite different races, cultures, ethnicities and beliefs.   This pandemic is showing us our interconnectedness and is giving everyone the opportunity to reach out and care for others via the internet, phone calls, etc.  I have seen more people “coming together” to help each other than I have seen since September 11th, 2001 (911).
  2. As a society we have been so busy “doing” and distracting ourselves from what is really important.  Now we have time to go internal and to look inside ourselves and see what is there.  Some are not going to like what they find, but it needs to be looked at and brought up to the surface to be acknowledged and healed.
  3. As we go internal, we will also find incredible creativity and new solutions. That surge in creativity and solutions will take us to the next step in creating a new world as this whole situation calms down.
  4. We get more time with our families. Maybe all that time running around being “busy” has taken a toll on family time.
  5. You now have time to read a book, take better care of your body or do things that you never had time to do before (or never made time to do…our priorities determine our how our time is spent).
  6. If you are out of work and you did not enjoy your work, you can re-evaluate what you love to do and focus on finding work that brings you joy.

In my opinion, this is a very gentle crisis.  We still have water, food, gas, housing, utilities, internet, phones, vehicles, etc.  When I look at other options (earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, bombs, etc.), this crisis is gentle.  Yes, we will have some economic pain going forward, but it is inevitable because the systems (monetary, economic, etc.) no longer work for the times we are moving into and must be reinvented.  They must become more balanced and equitable to all beings.  The control and manipulation by people/organizations that want to keep people in fear and enslaved for their own profit is over.  They are putting forth some last ditch efforts to try to keep that control, but it won’t work.  Humanity has woken up enough and hopefully this crisis will continue to wake people up.  We will not go back to sleep.

Please, my friends, please don’t play into the fear and panic.  That feeds the energies that want to keep humanity under their control.  Now is the time to STAND IN YOUR POWER.  We have the opportunity to make a huge change on this earth as long as we stand up and claim our power and state what we want the world to become…more loving, more compassionate, helping one another, cooperation vs. competition, joyful, fun, creative.  YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.  If you can bring yourself to balance and calm (quiet your mind) and then look at your situation from a higher vantage point, you will see that all of Life conspires in your favor.  What you are experiencing, whether painful or joyful, is there to show you your next steps.  Resistance and attachment bring pain.  Flow and surrender bring relief and allow for an opening so great, you will be amazed at the results.

This past year I have looked at many of my beliefs, some of them I have carried with me for lifetimes.  I am still working to open my heart more, to show the world who I am at the core.  I know who that is, but there has been a belief that I have carried that if I open fully and completely, someone or something will either take my power or force me to misuse my power in ways that would hurt people.  I built a rigidness and structure around that belief for protection, which at one point probably served me well, however the times are different and it is time to let go of that belief.  Once I learn to stand FULLY in my power, I know that no one and no thing can touch me.  The vibrations won’t match.

We all have the Christ Consciousness within us.  It is a matter of declaring it, believing it and living it.  In order to do that fully, we must cleanse our body, mind, and heart of false beliefs and untruths.  All of our external world is a mirror for us to see what we need to clear and shift.   I recently watched an episode of Missing Links on  – Season 3 (Episode 4) with host Gregg Braden and he talked about the mirrors our world give us.  Our experiences in life are mirror to show us either:

1) what we have that within ourselves (i.e. anger, pain)
2) what we are judging in others or
3) what our soul is seeking to return to us (with things we admire or desire).

So all my dear friends and world family, please don’t panic.  Don’t fear.  Stand in your power.  Speak your truth.  Don’t let the external world dictate your peace or mood.  As you surrender and release the control that we so vehemently want to maintain (which does not serve us), watch how your life unfolds.  We may not see the bigger picture now, but it is a really great outcome.  It can be quick if we surrender or it could be a bit longer and more painful if we have a lot of resistance.  You get to choose.  Sending blessings, peace and love.

“Getting in balance is not so much about adopting new strategies to change your behaviors, as it is about realigning yourself in all of your thoughts so as to create a balance between what you desire and how you conduct your life on a daily basis.”

— Wayne Dyer

Self Love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
 – Buddha

We are almost six weeks into the new year, 2019.  In the past, each year I have diligently written out New Year’s Resolutions.  This year I did not really need to write them out.  There were only two and they are pretty simple:  1) learn to REALLY love myself and 2) smile more.

Even through all my “working on myself”, I have days that I feel so, so down.  It is as if I wake up in a despair and I just don’t know what is the cause.  Some days I wake up happy and some days I wake up and I just know that it is going to be “one of those days”.  There is nothing “wrong” with the day, with my situation, with life, or with my circumstances, but I just feel so heavy and overwhelmed.  I have figured out some things that sometimes help, such as getting out in nature (I have an amazing park by my house), exercising, doing a fast or detox or simply screaming my lungs out and then allowing whatever it is to release through a barrage of tears.  Our physical bodies really ARE 1/3rd of our total dynamic, along with the mind and the spirit and I can feel better by allowing a release from the physical body, but then I wake up again and feel the same way.

Well, that is how I USED to feel.  For about three weeks now, I have felt peaceful, and even in certain situations when I used to feel anxiety or overwhelm, I don’t feel that anymore.  I cannot tell you the exact reason why I have felt good or at least “normal”, but I can wager a few guesses.   First, I think setting the intention to love myself no matter what has really shifted my perspective.  I don’t need to judge myself or beat myself up for not performing or making a mistake.  I simply forgive myself and move on.  Next, I  think that the Total Lunar Eclipse on January 8th was pretty powerful.  I am not an expert on astronomy or astrology, but I do feel that being the third total lunar eclipse in the series was bringing some pretty amazing new “love” energies to earth.  Third, I had an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G sound healing session with Irene Ingalls who has Seattle Sound Temple in Seattle.  During the session, I was relaxed and did not really “see” or even “know” anything through my intuition, but she “saw” and “knew” and there were some pretty amazing love energies present.  All I know is that for the three days after the session, I felt a lot of love for  everyone and everything, myself included.  That extra special “love” feeling is not at the level it was for those three days, but I still feel at peace and connected.

What is this all teaching me?  First that I cannot really love others and share from my heart unless I open it fully and love myself first.  Self love opens the heart.  After I set my New Year’s Resolution of complete Self Love, it is amazing how this topic has come into my life in so many ways.  I love watching Patricia Cota-Robles’ weekly vlogs (video blog).  Here are links to her latest two. Vlog 100 – How do you truly feel about yourself? (scroll down for Vlog 100) and Vlog 101 – How our relationships are reflecting how we feel about ourselves.  What is the topic?  Self Love and how what shows up in our relationships reflects how we love (or don’t love) ourselves.    I read Anita Moorjani’s book, Dying to be Me, which was recommended by a friend.  What is the topic?  Self Love.

I also realize that how I love myself truly reflects back to me in my relationship with my partner and family.  The more I love myself, the less critical I am of others, the more patience I have for life circumstances, and the more joy I find with my kids.  After so many years of healing, I truly believe Self Love is the key.  Often masters or spiritual teachers will say the answer is very simple, and it is.  It is definitely not always easy, but it is very simple.  Love Thyself.

I encourage you to take one week, or even start with one day, and only talk kindly to yourself.  Pretend you were talking to a little 3-year old and she or he was scared and feeling bad.  How would you treat the child?  Wouldn’t you try to comfort her/him?  Would you give the child a hug?  You have an inner child that has been wounded and that inner child needs compassion and love.  Love that child. You are loving yourself.  As  you make that inner child feel safe, you can let down the guard and love yourself even more.  If you let your mind beat yourself up and judge yourself, just forgive yourself and remember to comfort the child.  Every moment is a new moment.

We have been conditioned into thinking we are not worthy, we are not enough, and we are “selfish” if we put our needs first.  Believe me, you are not “helping” others if you are not loving yourself first.  When you give all your energy to others, then your “giving” turns into resentment, bitterness and anger within yourself.  You are looking externally for “appreciation” that you are not getting and you get even more frustrated.  Try giving yourself some appreciation.  Give yourself what you give others and feel happy doing so.  Put yourself first and watch how you become more compassionate, loving and giving toward others with no “strings attached”.

As I write this, I realize that St. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  While you are sharing love with others, please don’t forget yourself.  It all starts with you and when you give yourself love, you are loving all of Life.

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
– Louise L. Hay

love and accept

As Above, So Below

As Above So Below

I recently had a discussion with a good friend about life, its meaning and how do we make sense of what goes on in the world.  She had been feeling like, “What is the point?”. She wants answers. “What is the point?” is a question that I think every human asks at some point in their life.  As we were talking, a huge question (and possibly a realization) arose within me. I have heard spiritual teachers talk about, “As Above, So Below”. I never really understood that, but I accepted it as something like this:  We humans “As Below” are a reflection of Heaven/God/Creator/Universe/Unified Field (you pick your word) which is the “As Above”. I great up Catholic and we learned that we are created in the image of God (“As Above”), which I take to mean that we (“As Below”) would have the same gifts, abilities and free will as God.  In the Lord’s Prayer, there is also a part that says, “on Earth as it is in Heaven”, which I also seem to take the same meaning as, “As Above, So Below.” Some people have explained “As Above, So Below” as, “the microcosm reflects the macrocosm”, which to me really explains the same thing. The Earth is the microcosm of “Heaven/Cosmos/Universe/Macrocosm/Above”  (once again, you pick your word), which is the macrocosm.

I looked up the quote online and found this quote by Hermes Trismegistus.

“As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…”

I have already learned by experience and understand “As Within, So Without” but still the “As Above, So Below” and the part, “As the Universe, So the Soul” is still baffling me.

Here is my huge question (and possibly realization).  If that is true, “As Above, So Below”, “the microcosm reflects the macrocosm” and “on Earth as it is in Heaven”, then Above/Macrocosm/Heaven may not be perfect?  Was there some choice made in the “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven” that created the chaos and is reflected here on Earth? Here we go down a rabbit hole, because then comes the question, what does “perfect” mean?  Is our experience here, no matter how painful or destructive, “perfect”? Was it by design? Was the choice that was made in “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven” actually made on purpose to see what it would be like to feel “separate” from the whole?  Did we make that choice, since there is a part of us still in “As Above” since we are multidimensional beings? Or, was it simply an error, a mistake, a simple thought that manifested by accident? There are theories that there have been many different civilizations on Earth and many “Golden Ages” of “Heaven on Earth” for hundreds of thousands of years.  Our civilization did not just begin 10,000 years ago. Humans have been around much longer than that.

I believe that as we move into the new Age of Aquarius, which is another Golden Age, that we can create Heaven on Earth.  However, does that first need to be created in “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven”? Or is it already created and is just waiting for us humans, here in the physical plane to magnetize it into our physical experience through our thought, desires and intentions?

More questions:  Does the creation in “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven” instantly reflect in “Below/Microcosm/Earth”? Or is there a lag because we live in a time/space continuum and in “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven” there is no time, so that makes this question irrelevant?  Could we instantly create if we were outside of time and space?

Another belief I hold is that this physical world is not the “real” world.  The “real” world is where we live eternally. It is where our souls come from before we are born and where they go to after we die. Earth is simply a place to experience and learn from duality.  When we are living in constant joy and bliss and love (“Above”), how do we even know what that is without experiencing the opposite of joylessness, pain and hate (“Below”), but if “As Above, So Below” is true as I understand it, then is there joylessness, pain and hate “Above”?  I don’t think so, but it leaves me confused.

If there really is no time and the past, present and future are happening simultaneously, then maybe the negative/denser emotions/feelings/beliefs are not allow in “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven” and so we have to keep coming back here to earth until we clean up our energetic mess, but then what is “Above/Macrocosm/Heaven”?  How did the negative emotions/feelings/beliefs get here in the first place if “As Above, So Below”? As we do our “clean-up work” or healing, are we healing the past, present and future, transmuting all parts of us back into the pure love energy that we are? Are we here to call all the fragmented parts of us back to the whole?

I could propose question after question and talk this in circles and circles.  I think it is what philosophers have discussed since the beginning of time. Will we ever know how it really is, what is the truth?  Or is reality simply what each different person perceives it to be? Going back to the discussion with my friend, she is so frustrated because she wants to KNOW THE TRUTH.

Wow, I confused myself even more after writing this.  This post is really only full of questions. I don’t know how it really is.  I have some theories and ideas, but I think they are only that, theories and ideas.  I think the actual reality is too big for our minds to even comprehend, but we like to think about it.   I don’t have to know and that is what faith and trust is all about.

I am so grateful to have friends that I can have these kinds of discussions with.  I am grateful that they are actually thinking about these things. I will continue on my healing journey, in full faith and trust that the end outcome is going to be beyond amazing and spectacular, without any clue as to when/how it will happen (in the NOW, of course).  If you read this far, congratulations on your perseverance. Wishing you love, joy, peace and abundance to fill your life.

“As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…”

— Hermes Trismegistus

What is Your Mirror?

Mt Shasta July 2018

Summer is wrapping up and we are getting ready for school to start for the kids.  This summer was an energetic whammy for me. I had many emotional ups and downs, but not based on anything in particular.  I spent a lot of time in a “hibernation” mode, even though that is typically a wintertime activity. There was a three-part eclipse series and I know that was bringing a lot of energy to Earth and it heightened many people’s sensitivities.  I think the biggest lesson I learned is that there is nothing outside of myself that will bring me the joy that I seek (or happiness, but to me joy and happiness are different things). In fact, there is nothing external in my life that is not a mirror for what I have inside myself.  This is the same for every person on Earth.

One very happy new beginning, which also demonstrates this principle, is with my partner and how we feel with each other.  I shared some of what I was going through in this blog Matters of the Heart, as far as not being able to open up to my partner completely and I had always felt a resistance to doing so.

I have continued to see the Energy Medicine practitioner and we are continuing to clear out the belief that I held/hold in every single charka, “I don’t feel safe to open to my beloved.”  The first clearing from the Heart Chakra was shared here.

The next chakra we were working on was the Solar Plexus (Power) Chakra.  As we got into it, another past life arose in which I was the mother of my husband (in this life).  It was during the Victorian Age (or sometime when women wore those kinds of dresses). My son (husband in this life) was mentally challenged.  I don’t know if he had Down’s Syndrome or some other syndrome. He was a very joyful child and always wanted to hug and kiss me, climbing on my lap, etc.  I could not handle it and I felt resistance and even repulsion to that. I had my place in society and he did not fit in. I sent him away to live with another family, but he would come back to visit and want the same kind of attention.  I felt a huge amount of guilt as a mother, but I just could not deal with it. My son felt totally rejected and as a mother, I also felt resistance and repulsion. Both of us held those respective energies and carried them over to this life.  I have come to believe that what is not totally forgiven and resolved in a past life, you bring into your next incarnation for healing. The energy needs to be transmuted back into the Divine energy of which it is and always was. It just got distorted.

While we were clearing the energy out of the chakra, the spirit of that boy (my current husband) came into the session for closure.  I did not see/feel his energy but the practitioner did. I gave him a hug (in my imagination), told him I was sorry and practiced Ho’oponopono, which is Hawaiian forgiveness practice, in which you say, “I love you.  I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” He was carrying the “rejection” energy and the practitioner could feel it leaving his energy field. After the rejection energy was gone, his spirit left the session. I was also consciously forgiving myself and the guilt/repulsion/resistance was leaving my energy field.

These stories are so “far out” and there is no way to validate the details or even the story, except through what changes I see in my life.   This healing and clearing was like flipping a switch for us. I no longer felt resistance to my husband. I no longer felt an aversion to his affection or love.  He no longer felt rejected or pushed away. It was as if all of that just melted away, in an instant. The feelings or emotions just were no longer there.

What is very interesting about this is because he was carrying “rejection” energy, I had no option but to mirror that back to him.  Because I was carrying “resistance/repulsion” energy, he had no option but to mirror that back to me.

There is NOTHING in your external world that is not a mirror for what you are holding within yourself.  It is really hard to believe and to trust that, but it is a Law of the Universe. It takes trust, self compassion, love and acceptance of responsibility for your own energy to take action steps to shift the energy.

We like to blame or make claims like:

“If my relationship was better, I would be happy.”
“If I made more money, I would be happy.”
“If I was not so busy and had more time to rest, I would be happy.”
“If THEY did not do THAT, then I would be happy.”

We are chasing the external world and believing if we can change it, we would be happy.  If this changes or if that changes, THEN I will be happy. Not true. You might feel satisfied for a minute, then it is the next thing that we start chasing hoping it will fill us up.  It won’t. It never will. That is what I am learning.

I thought that if I could just “fix” my relationship, I would feel full and joyful.  Well, my relationship is fixed and it is better than ever. It is amazing, actually and I feel supported and loved and I can give that back to him.

So why do I still cry for no reason?  Why do I still feel a disconnect with who I AM really? How do I open my heart to myself? How do I know my True Self?  That, my friends, is what this journey of life is all about. This remembrance of who our True Self is, is the ONLY reason our souls choose to be here on Earth.  We must transmute/purify all of the Divine energy we were gifted that we misused and we must do it here on Earth in these bodies. The body is what is carrying that misused and mis-created energy in our cells.

We don’t always need to know what the “story” of the energy is, but we do need to clear out the emotion that holds the energy in place.   We can do this by starting to observe ourselves. What triggers us? What are the patterns we see in our daily life? What emotions come up often?  What is showing up in our external lives that is not bringing us joy? This is an exercise in observation of Self and then forgiveness.

I am still observing mySelf.   What can you observe about yourSelf and then take responsibility to forgive yourself and others, have compassion for yourSelf, love yourSelf and know that as you heal yourSelf, you are healing the collective consciousness.  Our earth and external world will shift, both individually and collectively as you do your healing work. Thank you for the work you are doing. Please call on the Beings of Light that are supporting our transformation. They are always there to help when you ask. Much gratitude and love is being sent your way.  You are loved.  Thank you.

“You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.” –Anais Nin

Manifesting and the Magic Potato Plant

I want to share three short stories that I find very valuable and are teaching me about manifesting. One just happened a few days ago and involved my youngest son and a potato plant.


In late April, Mateo (my six-year-old) and I were planting the vegetable garden. He loves to plant seeds, water them, watch them grow and then harvest the produce. We planted carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, green beans and kale. We had a bit of space left in the SW corner of the garden and I asked him what he wanted to plant. “Potatoes!” he said with gusto, but I did not have any seed potatoes.  About a week later we went to Swanson’s Nursery to see if we could get some seed potatoes. “It is too late in the season, we don’t have any,” was their reply.  Mateo picked out some romaine lettuce to plant instead. We did not plant the lettuce in the SW corner, which we left empty.

About the same time the other vegetables started coming up (maybe a week later), we saw a plant start to come up in the SW corner. To me, it looked like a potato, so I told the boys not to pull it out when they were weeding. It was in the exact spot that we wanted to plant the potatoes, centered perfectly and everything. I could not figure out how a potato would be planted there. The year before, we had some potatoes, but they were not planted in that section. We also had purchased some new dirt to reconstitute the soil, but it was mostly woodchips and I don’t think a potato would be mixed in.  I firmly believe that the belief and desire of a child manifested a potato plant, right where he wanted to plant it. To me, it is a miracle and definitely not a coincidence. In this story, the conditions of manifestation were: pure joy, unbridled enthusiasm and belief.

Magic Potato


From the book, “E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality” by Pam Grout, I was doing “Experiment # 4” (Chapter 7 from the book), to magnetized something into my life. Pam Grout refers to it as “The Abracadabra Principle: Whatever you focus on expands”. The instructions for Experiment #4 said to set a goal of 48 hours and magnetize something into your life.

Below is I wrote in my journal, with the dates, for what I wanted to manifest and also how it happened:

10/5/17 I intend to manifest a new cheese shredder (for the kitchen), one of the square ones that stand up in the next 48 hours. 10/6/17 1:43pm: Holy Smokes! OH MY GOSH! I was talking to my neighbors over the fence and what did one of them have in his hand? A SQUARE SHREDDER FOR THE KITCHEN, THE RECTANGLE KIND THAT STANDS UP. I asked him what they were going to do with it and he said “Donate it”. Mind you, it was the ONLY thing he had in his hand. I asked if I could have it and told him about the manifesting exercise. Accomplished!!

In this story, I believe the condition of manifestation was: non-attachment. I sent the request out the Universe (with feeling) and then forgot about it. I really could have cared less if I received the cheese shredder. They are around $10 on Amazon. I was not attached to the outcome in any way whatsoever. I was not trying to control “how” the shredder manifested. I released control and trusted and did not even think about it anymore. Inadvertently (by not caring if I got it or not), I allowed the intelligence of the Universe to choose the way it manifested.


After growing up in rural Minnesota and going to college in MN, in 1996-97 I spent a year in Germany. Upon returning in 1997 I started working at Accenture (Andersen Consulting at that time) in Minneapolis. I knew that I wanted to live in a different state or abroad or somewhere other than Minnesota for a while. I knew it and felt it deep within. I did not know how or when, but I knew I was not going to live in Minnesota forever. In 1999, a friend moved to Seattle and we stayed in touch. He said the company he was working for was hiring (during the .com tech boom). I interviewed, was hired and moved to Seattle in September 1999. I still live here. In this story, the condition of manifestation was: belief with a deep knowing (and it took 2 years).

To sum up some of my lessons about manifestation:

  1. Have an unbridled excitement and joyful feeling with a belief that you already have what you are desiring or a strong knowing (without a doubt) that it will happen. I believe that your feeling or emotion is the biggest signal to the Universe to you send what you desire.
  2. Have non-attachment to the outcome and release control. You are not able to specify to the Universe the “how”. That is trying to control and being attached to the outcome. For me, this is the hardest part and when I try to specify “how” or control it, my desire does not manifest.  Don’t “need” it.
  3. Have a deep belief or knowing (deep feeling) that it will come to you or is already manifested.

There are books and books written about the “Law of Attraction”, and many articles on the internet about the topic. I am still learning about this Law and definitely don’t have it mastered. However, here is a little exercise for you to gauge your feeling (and show yourself) about the importance of feeling and emotion with manifesting.

1) Think about something you don’t like and feel the emotion of it. How much negative emotion is there? How does it feel? How reactive do you get? How much resistance do you have? My guess is there is a lot of emotion and feeling (Manifestation!).

2) Now, think about what you would like to replace that thing/situation with. How much positive emotion is there? How much feeling is there that it is already existing and created? Or, is there doubt and is your mind saying, “Yeah, right. Not me. That won’t ever happen to me.” (Belief!).  If we can all learn to put as much feeling and emotion into what we DO want to create vs. what we DON’T want, we will see change.

3) Now re-write that thing that you don’t like into the positive or affirmative AND also in the present tense. For example, if you said, “I don’t want to have achy joints anymore” for the thing that you don’t like, now reframe and say, “Thank you joints for feeling healthy and strong.” To manifest, you must believe it, you must not be attached to the outcome, you must have a lot of emotion and feeling and it must be in the present tense (the eternal moment of now).  You must persist until your subconscious believes that is the truth.

The reason that the “thing” that you don’t like is there in the first place is because it has received more attention and thought and feeling than its opposite (what you do want).  Much of the attention and thought given to what you don’t want is conditioning from society, family, habits, etc.  Whatever your true belief is, is what will manifest.

I believe that we are all the creators of our own reality, even if I have not always figured out exactly how to shift what is not working for me anymore.  We are constantly manifesting, and if we are not consciously manifesting, we are on auto-pilot and allowing our subconscious patterns and beliefs to manifest for us.  The reason affirmations don’t always work is because the underlying feeling and (subconscious) belief does not believe it is true.

Will you start to practice consciously creating and manifesting with me?  It takes committment and practice and for me, some trial and error!  Please join me for the creation journey.

“Think the thought until you believe it, and once you believe it, it is.” Abraham Hicks


What Do You Stand “For”?

What do you stand for?

“Blacks are not the enemy.
Cops are not the enemy.
Muslims are not the enemy.
Hate is the enemy.
Let’s join hands against hate.”

This sign is in my neighborhood and I drive by it often and each time I see it, it does not feel good to me. I wonder how we could change the world if we just changed our perception and the wording on this sign? What is this message really saying? I interpret it as resistance (“against”), separation (“calling out the groups”), anger (“hate”). How about the sign, “Black lives matter”. Yes, they do. And so do Native lives, White lives, Hispanic lives, Asian lives, and ever single living being on earth. It is time to start seeing all Human Beings as one big human family and not as separate. When we can do this in our heart, the violence, wars and hate will vanish from our lives and from our planet.

Wouldn’t it be more inclusive and have a better feeling vibration if we could re-word the sign to say:

“Humans are our friends.
Animals are our friends.
Plants are our friends.
Love is our Ally.
Let’s join hands for Love and Peace.”

Read the first sign from the picture and then read the alternative and just sit for a minute and see how that feels in your body. Your heart knows. Can you feel the difference?

That is the change we must make in our daily lives. Our words matter. Our perceptions matter. Our thoughts matter. Our actions matter. We matter. The feelings and emotions we put out there matter because they add to the collective consciousness of our earth. The chaos in our world is reflecting our collective consciousness (which you and me and your neighbor are all creating).  We, as a group, called forth the current president with our collective consciousness, even if you did not specifically vote for him.  You can make a difference and improve your experience of the world by changing your own consciousness. Every single thought and feeling matters. YOU matter.

Have you ever heard the saying, “What you resist, persists.” It is Universal Law. Whatever we are “against” will persist. In the sign above, the wording and feeling is actually invoking the “hate” to persist.

Part of invoking change is also allowing what is and surrendering to it, which means don’t resist what is. This does not mean that we don’t stand up for what we believe in. We can invoke change by talking about what we are “for” instead of what we are “against”.

My goal is to keep this blog experiential, meaning that I need to experience it in order to write about it.

I have many small examples of allowing “what is” to “just be” and then seeing changes. One of my biggest allowances was to just accept that I had colitis and stop fighting it. When I surrendered to it, it healed. I was “for” my health instead of “against” the colitis.

Another surrender was with my son. It seemed like he was always pushing my buttons on purpose. When I surrendered and stopped trying to control, he changed. Actually, it was me that changed, but my internal change lead to an external change. In my perception, my life was so much more peaceful. I was “for” a peaceful home instead of “against” a type of behavior.

With my partner, when I surrendered all responsibility for his journey and trying to control what he did based on how I wanted things to be, I felt such a relief. I was “for” freedom and sovereignty instead of “against” his beliefs or actions.

I, by no means have this all figured out and there are other changes that I am making in my life to experience something different, which is what this journey is all about. Every day, I remind myself what I stand “for”, what I desire to create in my life and the world by feeling it and stating it in the affirmative. Let’s shift the energy from negativity (against) to positivity and hope (for). Will you also join me in affirming what you stand “for”?

The world is a projection of our collective consciousness. If our collective consciousness reaches that place of peace, harmony, laughter and love, it will be a different world.– Deepak Chopra

Matters of the Heart

Do you think your physical heart actually stores memories? Likes? Dislikes?
Joys? Fears? I don’t mean the energetic heart chakra, I mean our physical blood pumping heart. I believe it does. I am sure you have heard the stories of a person who has received a heart transplant and then started loving classical music or drinking beer or having cravings for certain things they did not even like before. The changes in preferences was then corroborated by the donor’s family, that indeed, the donor liked or disliked those things.

If the heart stores memories and the memories were “heart breaking” or painful, how does our mind or body deal with that if we have not healed that hurt? From my experience, for safety, we close our heart (now I am talking about the energetic heart chakra that allows the life force energy to flow into our physical and energetic bodies). We do this through the mind (ego) in order to protect ourselves. At this closure of the heart, new protective patterns get set into place and are often the driving force in situations in our lives, however we don’t consciously know what is driving our situation and sometimes we don’t even consciously pay attention to our own behaviors. Instead, we blame others for our life circumstances.

I believe an open heart is the key to living a joyous life. I am working on healing and opening my heart and sometimes I feel a lot of resistance, which is my mind (ego) trying to protect me from getting hurt because it has memory of past hurt.

How protected is your heart? How much do you allow yourself to feel or how vulnerable are you willing to be? As I am progressing on my journey and becoming more conscious of my actions and feelings, I realized that my heart was not open to my love partner, nor has it been fully open to any love partnership (at least in this lifetime and probably many others). I thought it was, but it wasn’t. I don’t have any problem temporarily opening my heart to a stranger or a very good friend because they are safe (or so I believe), but to open completely to my lover, nope.

Since late 2014, I have been working with an Energy Medicine practitioner, who focuses on clearing the chakras. Initially I went to see her for assistance in the healing of my colitis (which was helpful). Depending on what you choose to work on, she will help you identify the belief that you hold in your chakras around that issue and assist in clearing it. I recently started working with her on the clearing the belief, “I don’t feel safe to open to my beloved.” I have felt for a long time that I am not able to open to my partner completely and fully. When we are intimate, if I initiate it, all is well because then I am in control. If he initiates it, I clam up and don’t feel like it, but would sometimes just override that to keep peace. However, he felt it and so did I.

The first chakra that the Energy Medicine practitioner was called to work on for that belief was my heart chakra. As she was feeling into the different layers (each chakra has 7 layers), she felt a lot of resistance coming from me and was called to go directly to the 7th layer, which is about past lives and generational patterns.

Please note what I am sharing came through the practitioner’s “filter” when she felt into my heart chakra and some of it may be allegory (or just think of it as a story to illustrate a point if you don’t believe in past lives). A past life came up during the time of the Mayas (or ancient civilization in Mexico). I was a female and in a place of power in the community. I had a male partner who I loved dearly with all my heart and was completely open to him in heart, mind, body and soul. He also loved me, but he loved power more. He decided that if he killed me, he would be more powerful, so he killed me and then cut my heart out. I don’t have all the details regarding that past life, but that heartbreak and fear was etched in my heart and was carried through many lifetimes and is coming up in this lifetime to finally be healed. I am healing it. First, through awareness of my actions and feelings. Second, through forgiveness. Finally, through loving my heart and letting my heart know I understand that it experienced pain long, long ago but I am safe now. I no longer need to keep my heart closed for protection. My heart (or maybe the ego mind) believed that if I open my heart completely, I will be killed and that it is not safe.

For this particular belief, “I don’t feel safe to open to my beloved”, I hold it in every single chakra, so I have some work to do. Now that it is on my radar, I can consciously choose to release it from my physical heart cells and transmute the emotions of fear, panic, anxiety, sadness, grief, anger and rage that hold this belief in place. By transmuting those emotions, it will open up so much for space in my heart cells for love and light. As I do this work, it is giving me greater freedom to open completely and feel safe and I am so ready for that! It takes a lot of energy to protect yourself and your heart. I would rather use that energy elsewhere.

I challenge you to look into your lovely heart and see what situations cause you to withhold love or to protect your heart. Look for the patterns in your life (especially the ones you want to blame someone else for) and see how you are protecting yourself. Ask your Guides, Higher Self, God, Divine, Universe or whatever higher power resonates with you for assistance in healing your heart. They will answer, just listen and do not be attached to how the answer shows up. Blessings to your beautiful heart today and always.

Gift from the universe after I was contemplating healing my heart.

I found this leaf on my path after I was sitting in the park contemplating the healing of my heart. We have signs in nature all the time to support us in our journey. Thank you, thank you, thank you to our Creator and all the Beings of Light who are supporting us.

The door to your heart opens inwardly. Only you can open it. –Dragos Bratasanu