Balance, Opportunity, Surrender and Power

Today is the Spring Equinox.  It is a powerful day to focus on balance, as the light of day and dark of night are balanced.  Balance is much needed in our world right now.  Take a deep breath.  Release.  Take another deep breath and repeat out loud or in your heart, “My body, mind and heart are balanced.”  Do this until you feel some calm throughout your body.  The balance of light and dark brings a calm.  It is the center point.  It is the middle path.  If you sway too far to one side or the other, the opposite will swing you back like a pendulum to the other side until you can, with your awareness, bring your body, mind and heart back into balance.

I have not written on this blog for over a year, not because things have not been happening, but because I did not feel inspired to write.  I need inspiration to share.  This worldwide connection, or as some call “pandemic” has inspired me once again.  I personally feel a bubbling excitement and optimism, despite the fear and panic that is in the air (and yes, as an empath, I feel that too).

I see what is going on in the world right now as a huge opportunity and I feel very optimistic about what the outcomes will be, but it will take all of us to utilize the opportunity to change.

First let’s look at just some of the opportunities we can take from this:

  1. We are all connected. We are not separate from each other.  We are interconnected in such a way on the earth that if one country has an epidemic, it can quickly become a global pandemic.  Trade/supply chains are affected.  Travel is affected.  With our advances in technology, information sharing, education, etc. there is no way we can go back to each country “standing on its own”.  Closing borders is not going to change the fact that we are one body and one community, belonging to Mother Earth.  We are all the same and we all have the same untapped abilities, despite different races, cultures, ethnicities and beliefs.   This pandemic is showing us our interconnectedness and is giving everyone the opportunity to reach out and care for others via the internet, phone calls, etc.  I have seen more people “coming together” to help each other than I have seen since September 11th, 2001 (911).
  2. As a society we have been so busy “doing” and distracting ourselves from what is really important.  Now we have time to go internal and to look inside ourselves and see what is there.  Some are not going to like what they find, but it needs to be looked at and brought up to the surface to be acknowledged and healed.
  3. As we go internal, we will also find incredible creativity and new solutions. That surge in creativity and solutions will take us to the next step in creating a new world as this whole situation calms down.
  4. We get more time with our families. Maybe all that time running around being “busy” has taken a toll on family time.
  5. You now have time to read a book, take better care of your body or do things that you never had time to do before (or never made time to do…our priorities determine our how our time is spent).
  6. If you are out of work and you did not enjoy your work, you can re-evaluate what you love to do and focus on finding work that brings you joy.

In my opinion, this is a very gentle crisis.  We still have water, food, gas, housing, utilities, internet, phones, vehicles, etc.  When I look at other options (earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, bombs, etc.), this crisis is gentle.  Yes, we will have some economic pain going forward, but it is inevitable because the systems (monetary, economic, etc.) no longer work for the times we are moving into and must be reinvented.  They must become more balanced and equitable to all beings.  The control and manipulation by people/organizations that want to keep people in fear and enslaved for their own profit is over.  They are putting forth some last ditch efforts to try to keep that control, but it won’t work.  Humanity has woken up enough and hopefully this crisis will continue to wake people up.  We will not go back to sleep.

Please, my friends, please don’t play into the fear and panic.  That feeds the energies that want to keep humanity under their control.  Now is the time to STAND IN YOUR POWER.  We have the opportunity to make a huge change on this earth as long as we stand up and claim our power and state what we want the world to become…more loving, more compassionate, helping one another, cooperation vs. competition, joyful, fun, creative.  YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.  If you can bring yourself to balance and calm (quiet your mind) and then look at your situation from a higher vantage point, you will see that all of Life conspires in your favor.  What you are experiencing, whether painful or joyful, is there to show you your next steps.  Resistance and attachment bring pain.  Flow and surrender bring relief and allow for an opening so great, you will be amazed at the results.

This past year I have looked at many of my beliefs, some of them I have carried with me for lifetimes.  I am still working to open my heart more, to show the world who I am at the core.  I know who that is, but there has been a belief that I have carried that if I open fully and completely, someone or something will either take my power or force me to misuse my power in ways that would hurt people.  I built a rigidness and structure around that belief for protection, which at one point probably served me well, however the times are different and it is time to let go of that belief.  Once I learn to stand FULLY in my power, I know that no one and no thing can touch me.  The vibrations won’t match.

We all have the Christ Consciousness within us.  It is a matter of declaring it, believing it and living it.  In order to do that fully, we must cleanse our body, mind, and heart of false beliefs and untruths.  All of our external world is a mirror for us to see what we need to clear and shift.   I recently watched an episode of Missing Links on  – Season 3 (Episode 4) with host Gregg Braden and he talked about the mirrors our world give us.  Our experiences in life are mirror to show us either:

1) what we have that within ourselves (i.e. anger, pain)
2) what we are judging in others or
3) what our soul is seeking to return to us (with things we admire or desire).

So all my dear friends and world family, please don’t panic.  Don’t fear.  Stand in your power.  Speak your truth.  Don’t let the external world dictate your peace or mood.  As you surrender and release the control that we so vehemently want to maintain (which does not serve us), watch how your life unfolds.  We may not see the bigger picture now, but it is a really great outcome.  It can be quick if we surrender or it could be a bit longer and more painful if we have a lot of resistance.  You get to choose.  Sending blessings, peace and love.

“Getting in balance is not so much about adopting new strategies to change your behaviors, as it is about realigning yourself in all of your thoughts so as to create a balance between what you desire and how you conduct your life on a daily basis.”

— Wayne Dyer

What is Your Mirror?

Mt Shasta July 2018

Summer is wrapping up and we are getting ready for school to start for the kids.  This summer was an energetic whammy for me. I had many emotional ups and downs, but not based on anything in particular.  I spent a lot of time in a “hibernation” mode, even though that is typically a wintertime activity. There was a three-part eclipse series and I know that was bringing a lot of energy to Earth and it heightened many people’s sensitivities.  I think the biggest lesson I learned is that there is nothing outside of myself that will bring me the joy that I seek (or happiness, but to me joy and happiness are different things). In fact, there is nothing external in my life that is not a mirror for what I have inside myself.  This is the same for every person on Earth.

One very happy new beginning, which also demonstrates this principle, is with my partner and how we feel with each other.  I shared some of what I was going through in this blog Matters of the Heart, as far as not being able to open up to my partner completely and I had always felt a resistance to doing so.

I have continued to see the Energy Medicine practitioner and we are continuing to clear out the belief that I held/hold in every single charka, “I don’t feel safe to open to my beloved.”  The first clearing from the Heart Chakra was shared here.

The next chakra we were working on was the Solar Plexus (Power) Chakra.  As we got into it, another past life arose in which I was the mother of my husband (in this life).  It was during the Victorian Age (or sometime when women wore those kinds of dresses). My son (husband in this life) was mentally challenged.  I don’t know if he had Down’s Syndrome or some other syndrome. He was a very joyful child and always wanted to hug and kiss me, climbing on my lap, etc.  I could not handle it and I felt resistance and even repulsion to that. I had my place in society and he did not fit in. I sent him away to live with another family, but he would come back to visit and want the same kind of attention.  I felt a huge amount of guilt as a mother, but I just could not deal with it. My son felt totally rejected and as a mother, I also felt resistance and repulsion. Both of us held those respective energies and carried them over to this life.  I have come to believe that what is not totally forgiven and resolved in a past life, you bring into your next incarnation for healing. The energy needs to be transmuted back into the Divine energy of which it is and always was. It just got distorted.

While we were clearing the energy out of the chakra, the spirit of that boy (my current husband) came into the session for closure.  I did not see/feel his energy but the practitioner did. I gave him a hug (in my imagination), told him I was sorry and practiced Ho’oponopono, which is Hawaiian forgiveness practice, in which you say, “I love you.  I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” He was carrying the “rejection” energy and the practitioner could feel it leaving his energy field. After the rejection energy was gone, his spirit left the session. I was also consciously forgiving myself and the guilt/repulsion/resistance was leaving my energy field.

These stories are so “far out” and there is no way to validate the details or even the story, except through what changes I see in my life.   This healing and clearing was like flipping a switch for us. I no longer felt resistance to my husband. I no longer felt an aversion to his affection or love.  He no longer felt rejected or pushed away. It was as if all of that just melted away, in an instant. The feelings or emotions just were no longer there.

What is very interesting about this is because he was carrying “rejection” energy, I had no option but to mirror that back to him.  Because I was carrying “resistance/repulsion” energy, he had no option but to mirror that back to me.

There is NOTHING in your external world that is not a mirror for what you are holding within yourself.  It is really hard to believe and to trust that, but it is a Law of the Universe. It takes trust, self compassion, love and acceptance of responsibility for your own energy to take action steps to shift the energy.

We like to blame or make claims like:

“If my relationship was better, I would be happy.”
“If I made more money, I would be happy.”
“If I was not so busy and had more time to rest, I would be happy.”
“If THEY did not do THAT, then I would be happy.”

We are chasing the external world and believing if we can change it, we would be happy.  If this changes or if that changes, THEN I will be happy. Not true. You might feel satisfied for a minute, then it is the next thing that we start chasing hoping it will fill us up.  It won’t. It never will. That is what I am learning.

I thought that if I could just “fix” my relationship, I would feel full and joyful.  Well, my relationship is fixed and it is better than ever. It is amazing, actually and I feel supported and loved and I can give that back to him.

So why do I still cry for no reason?  Why do I still feel a disconnect with who I AM really? How do I open my heart to myself? How do I know my True Self?  That, my friends, is what this journey of life is all about. This remembrance of who our True Self is, is the ONLY reason our souls choose to be here on Earth.  We must transmute/purify all of the Divine energy we were gifted that we misused and we must do it here on Earth in these bodies. The body is what is carrying that misused and mis-created energy in our cells.

We don’t always need to know what the “story” of the energy is, but we do need to clear out the emotion that holds the energy in place.   We can do this by starting to observe ourselves. What triggers us? What are the patterns we see in our daily life? What emotions come up often?  What is showing up in our external lives that is not bringing us joy? This is an exercise in observation of Self and then forgiveness.

I am still observing mySelf.   What can you observe about yourSelf and then take responsibility to forgive yourself and others, have compassion for yourSelf, love yourSelf and know that as you heal yourSelf, you are healing the collective consciousness.  Our earth and external world will shift, both individually and collectively as you do your healing work. Thank you for the work you are doing. Please call on the Beings of Light that are supporting our transformation. They are always there to help when you ask. Much gratitude and love is being sent your way.  You are loved.  Thank you.

“You do not see the world as it is. You see it as you are.” –Anais Nin

Manifesting and the Magic Potato Plant

I want to share three short stories that I find very valuable and are teaching me about manifesting. One just happened a few days ago and involved my youngest son and a potato plant.


In late April, Mateo (my six-year-old) and I were planting the vegetable garden. He loves to plant seeds, water them, watch them grow and then harvest the produce. We planted carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, green beans and kale. We had a bit of space left in the SW corner of the garden and I asked him what he wanted to plant. “Potatoes!” he said with gusto, but I did not have any seed potatoes.  About a week later we went to Swanson’s Nursery to see if we could get some seed potatoes. “It is too late in the season, we don’t have any,” was their reply.  Mateo picked out some romaine lettuce to plant instead. We did not plant the lettuce in the SW corner, which we left empty.

About the same time the other vegetables started coming up (maybe a week later), we saw a plant start to come up in the SW corner. To me, it looked like a potato, so I told the boys not to pull it out when they were weeding. It was in the exact spot that we wanted to plant the potatoes, centered perfectly and everything. I could not figure out how a potato would be planted there. The year before, we had some potatoes, but they were not planted in that section. We also had purchased some new dirt to reconstitute the soil, but it was mostly woodchips and I don’t think a potato would be mixed in.  I firmly believe that the belief and desire of a child manifested a potato plant, right where he wanted to plant it. To me, it is a miracle and definitely not a coincidence. In this story, the conditions of manifestation were: pure joy, unbridled enthusiasm and belief.

Magic Potato


From the book, “E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality” by Pam Grout, I was doing “Experiment # 4” (Chapter 7 from the book), to magnetized something into my life. Pam Grout refers to it as “The Abracadabra Principle: Whatever you focus on expands”. The instructions for Experiment #4 said to set a goal of 48 hours and magnetize something into your life.

Below is I wrote in my journal, with the dates, for what I wanted to manifest and also how it happened:

10/5/17 I intend to manifest a new cheese shredder (for the kitchen), one of the square ones that stand up in the next 48 hours. 10/6/17 1:43pm: Holy Smokes! OH MY GOSH! I was talking to my neighbors over the fence and what did one of them have in his hand? A SQUARE SHREDDER FOR THE KITCHEN, THE RECTANGLE KIND THAT STANDS UP. I asked him what they were going to do with it and he said “Donate it”. Mind you, it was the ONLY thing he had in his hand. I asked if I could have it and told him about the manifesting exercise. Accomplished!!

In this story, I believe the condition of manifestation was: non-attachment. I sent the request out the Universe (with feeling) and then forgot about it. I really could have cared less if I received the cheese shredder. They are around $10 on Amazon. I was not attached to the outcome in any way whatsoever. I was not trying to control “how” the shredder manifested. I released control and trusted and did not even think about it anymore. Inadvertently (by not caring if I got it or not), I allowed the intelligence of the Universe to choose the way it manifested.


After growing up in rural Minnesota and going to college in MN, in 1996-97 I spent a year in Germany. Upon returning in 1997 I started working at Accenture (Andersen Consulting at that time) in Minneapolis. I knew that I wanted to live in a different state or abroad or somewhere other than Minnesota for a while. I knew it and felt it deep within. I did not know how or when, but I knew I was not going to live in Minnesota forever. In 1999, a friend moved to Seattle and we stayed in touch. He said the company he was working for was hiring (during the .com tech boom). I interviewed, was hired and moved to Seattle in September 1999. I still live here. In this story, the condition of manifestation was: belief with a deep knowing (and it took 2 years).

To sum up some of my lessons about manifestation:

  1. Have an unbridled excitement and joyful feeling with a belief that you already have what you are desiring or a strong knowing (without a doubt) that it will happen. I believe that your feeling or emotion is the biggest signal to the Universe to you send what you desire.
  2. Have non-attachment to the outcome and release control. You are not able to specify to the Universe the “how”. That is trying to control and being attached to the outcome. For me, this is the hardest part and when I try to specify “how” or control it, my desire does not manifest.  Don’t “need” it.
  3. Have a deep belief or knowing (deep feeling) that it will come to you or is already manifested.

There are books and books written about the “Law of Attraction”, and many articles on the internet about the topic. I am still learning about this Law and definitely don’t have it mastered. However, here is a little exercise for you to gauge your feeling (and show yourself) about the importance of feeling and emotion with manifesting.

1) Think about something you don’t like and feel the emotion of it. How much negative emotion is there? How does it feel? How reactive do you get? How much resistance do you have? My guess is there is a lot of emotion and feeling (Manifestation!).

2) Now, think about what you would like to replace that thing/situation with. How much positive emotion is there? How much feeling is there that it is already existing and created? Or, is there doubt and is your mind saying, “Yeah, right. Not me. That won’t ever happen to me.” (Belief!).  If we can all learn to put as much feeling and emotion into what we DO want to create vs. what we DON’T want, we will see change.

3) Now re-write that thing that you don’t like into the positive or affirmative AND also in the present tense. For example, if you said, “I don’t want to have achy joints anymore” for the thing that you don’t like, now reframe and say, “Thank you joints for feeling healthy and strong.” To manifest, you must believe it, you must not be attached to the outcome, you must have a lot of emotion and feeling and it must be in the present tense (the eternal moment of now).  You must persist until your subconscious believes that is the truth.

The reason that the “thing” that you don’t like is there in the first place is because it has received more attention and thought and feeling than its opposite (what you do want).  Much of the attention and thought given to what you don’t want is conditioning from society, family, habits, etc.  Whatever your true belief is, is what will manifest.

I believe that we are all the creators of our own reality, even if I have not always figured out exactly how to shift what is not working for me anymore.  We are constantly manifesting, and if we are not consciously manifesting, we are on auto-pilot and allowing our subconscious patterns and beliefs to manifest for us.  The reason affirmations don’t always work is because the underlying feeling and (subconscious) belief does not believe it is true.

Will you start to practice consciously creating and manifesting with me?  It takes committment and practice and for me, some trial and error!  Please join me for the creation journey.

“Think the thought until you believe it, and once you believe it, it is.” Abraham Hicks


What Do You Stand “For”?

What do you stand for?

“Blacks are not the enemy.
Cops are not the enemy.
Muslims are not the enemy.
Hate is the enemy.
Let’s join hands against hate.”

This sign is in my neighborhood and I drive by it often and each time I see it, it does not feel good to me. I wonder how we could change the world if we just changed our perception and the wording on this sign? What is this message really saying? I interpret it as resistance (“against”), separation (“calling out the groups”), anger (“hate”). How about the sign, “Black lives matter”. Yes, they do. And so do Native lives, White lives, Hispanic lives, Asian lives, and ever single living being on earth. It is time to start seeing all Human Beings as one big human family and not as separate. When we can do this in our heart, the violence, wars and hate will vanish from our lives and from our planet.

Wouldn’t it be more inclusive and have a better feeling vibration if we could re-word the sign to say:

“Humans are our friends.
Animals are our friends.
Plants are our friends.
Love is our Ally.
Let’s join hands for Love and Peace.”

Read the first sign from the picture and then read the alternative and just sit for a minute and see how that feels in your body. Your heart knows. Can you feel the difference?

That is the change we must make in our daily lives. Our words matter. Our perceptions matter. Our thoughts matter. Our actions matter. We matter. The feelings and emotions we put out there matter because they add to the collective consciousness of our earth. The chaos in our world is reflecting our collective consciousness (which you and me and your neighbor are all creating).  We, as a group, called forth the current president with our collective consciousness, even if you did not specifically vote for him.  You can make a difference and improve your experience of the world by changing your own consciousness. Every single thought and feeling matters. YOU matter.

Have you ever heard the saying, “What you resist, persists.” It is Universal Law. Whatever we are “against” will persist. In the sign above, the wording and feeling is actually invoking the “hate” to persist.

Part of invoking change is also allowing what is and surrendering to it, which means don’t resist what is. This does not mean that we don’t stand up for what we believe in. We can invoke change by talking about what we are “for” instead of what we are “against”.

My goal is to keep this blog experiential, meaning that I need to experience it in order to write about it.

I have many small examples of allowing “what is” to “just be” and then seeing changes. One of my biggest allowances was to just accept that I had colitis and stop fighting it. When I surrendered to it, it healed. I was “for” my health instead of “against” the colitis.

Another surrender was with my son. It seemed like he was always pushing my buttons on purpose. When I surrendered and stopped trying to control, he changed. Actually, it was me that changed, but my internal change lead to an external change. In my perception, my life was so much more peaceful. I was “for” a peaceful home instead of “against” a type of behavior.

With my partner, when I surrendered all responsibility for his journey and trying to control what he did based on how I wanted things to be, I felt such a relief. I was “for” freedom and sovereignty instead of “against” his beliefs or actions.

I, by no means have this all figured out and there are other changes that I am making in my life to experience something different, which is what this journey is all about. Every day, I remind myself what I stand “for”, what I desire to create in my life and the world by feeling it and stating it in the affirmative. Let’s shift the energy from negativity (against) to positivity and hope (for). Will you also join me in affirming what you stand “for”?

The world is a projection of our collective consciousness. If our collective consciousness reaches that place of peace, harmony, laughter and love, it will be a different world.– Deepak Chopra